My Romance with Addiction
By: Jenny Alforria
He walks besides me,
lays in my bed
He caresses me
while he tells me how bad
he wants me dead
He kisses me softly,
I’m trying to hate him
but I love him instead
You would think he’s a real man
but he lives in my head
He massages my shoulders
telling me to sip a drink and pop a pill.
He buys me a rose
while he steals
He steals my joy,
and peace of mind
While he softly pulls a mask over my eyes
He tells me I’m beautiful
when he tells me to put poison in me at night
He gently gets on top of me
while he tells me to get high.
He tells just do it one more time,
you’ll be just fine.
No one will know, just sip this drink….
please just get high.
He tells me it will be ok
just do one line,
just this one time,
but the reality is one time turns into two,
two turns into three,
three turns into three times too many
to the point I will give up on me.
This is the reality of my disease….
dependency on substances that will kill me.
My body craves for death,
my disease whispers to me to just have one drink.
My brain is twisted,
my thoughts distorted,
and my body shouts out for a high
that last temporarily.
All to make me lose my mind, body, spirit and all my good opportunities.
My disease tells me to give up
and give in to a temptation.
This disease kisses me,
lust over me,
and there are times I smile at it….
and there are times I hold its hand too.
But i can’t make love to addiction any more.
I can’t get consumed.
I have to acknowledge addiction doesn’t love me
it wants me dead.
denial comes down on me
when I don’t want to accept the truth.
Addiction will never be satisfied,
Addiction lives with me
and constantly gets in my head.
And even when I hate it….
I love it instead.