Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror

By:Jenny Alforria

 

I look in the mirror all the time,

hoping that I see

Something other than ugly,

maybe someone other than me

I look in the mirror

with feelings of not being good enough

For the people who see me

I want to know why,

but there’s probably not one miracle answer

to the question that I seek

I look in the mirror seeing that I’m weak,

until I put on my makeup to cover up the low self-esteem.

I look in the mirror seeing all the imperfections

I wish I could instantly change,

not just the image, but also the pain.

I have been mistreated,

unloved,

abandoned,

and literally had the door slammed in my face.

And these things that were done to me,

is apart of the image I see everyday

Emptiness becomes unattractiveness

Fatigue becomes fat.

And I look to the mirror for validation of beauty

that I can never see

Because I can never compete

with the self-image I want to see.

I debate whether or not

I hate the woman inside of me

or the woman I see standing in front of me.

Or do I have a level of hate

towards all the dimensions of me

If the image changed,

would I finally be comfortable within me?

Or if I changed within myself

would I see my physical image differently?

And if I become good enough for society

Would I ever be good enough for me?

Or if I become good enough for me

Would it matter what society thinks?

But all I know is when I look in the mirror

ugliness is all I see.

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2 thoughts on “Mirror, Mirror

  1. luckynomes

    Very well written… it’s a hard reality to feel that way. I think you are onto something though when you questioned if you become good enough for you, will what society thinks matter? I think you’ll figure that out when you do find yourself good enough. Such a hard thing to master in a society that is ass-backwards. Love to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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