My Romance with Addiction 

My Romance with Addiction

By: Jenny Alforria

He walks besides me,

lays in my bed

He caresses me

while he tells me how bad

he wants me dead

He kisses me softly,

I’m trying to hate him

but I love him instead

You would think he’s a real man

but he lives in my head

He massages my shoulders

telling me to sip a drink and pop a pill.

He buys me a rose

while he steals

He steals my joy,

sanity

and peace of mind

While he softly pulls a mask over my eyes

He tells me I’m beautiful

when he tells me to put poison in me at night

He gently gets on top of me

while he tells me to get high.

He tells just do it one more time,

you’ll be just fine.

No one will know, just sip this drink….

please just get high.

He tells me it will be ok

just do one line,

just this one time,

but the reality is one time turns into two,

two turns into three,

three turns into three times too many

to the point I will give up on me.

This is the reality of my disease….

dependency on substances that will kill me.

My body craves for death,

my disease whispers to me to just have one drink.

My brain is twisted,

my thoughts distorted,

and my body shouts out for a high

that last temporarily.

All to make me lose my mind, body, spirit and all my good opportunities.

My disease tells me to give up

and give in to a temptation.

This disease kisses me,

lust over me,

and there are times I smile at it….

and there are times I hold its hand too.

But i can’t make love to addiction any more.

I can’t get consumed.

I have to acknowledge addiction doesn’t love me

it wants me dead.

denial comes down on me

when I don’t want to accept the truth.

Addiction will never be satisfied,

never quenched,

never full.

Addiction lives with me

and constantly gets in my head.

And even when I hate it….

I love it instead.

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