Do you know what it’s like to drown in your own depression
and hope you don’t wake up out of your sleep
Do you know what it’s like to hate your self and your body,
but wanting it to be loved
but wanting no one to see you because of your low self esteem….
Do you know what it’s like to
cut your arms and cry just for a release.
Self hatred, drugs, sex, and alcohol becomes the only things your body needs
Do you know how it’s like looking in the mirror for hours
but never really looking at you.
Trying to hang out with people and pretending to be happy…
but you never really are.
Do you know what it’s like running away from your own truth…
I just want to find a resting place…
somewhere away from myself.
Cuz my spirit is in hell….
and God showed me heaven,,,,,,
but heaven seems far away when the drugs, lust, love, material things
and me are in the way…
slowly stripping the costume away
to the little girl who’s tired of running away…
exhausted and malnourished from poison and self abuse….
I act like I love myself to the point the world believes that lie…
but somewhere deep inside I’m dying and I want to feel alive…
trying to find my life in recovery trying to heal the girl inside,,,,
helping her to grow into a woman so she can match the outside too….
sometimes I feel alone…like no one cares about me, like no one understands…
and sometimes I wish people loved the inside just as much as they loved the outside…
or maybe even more..
and I dress the outside up because I feel like no one will like the little girl 😢